The other day I posted this picture as a way to support that all mothers love their babies and while we may be different we can celebrate that our decisions are made from love.
I added various scenarios of what I often see on our facebook page and also in our store (Granola Babies). And my wish for the picture was that all mothers would for a moment see other mothers through the eyes of love regardless of each others decisions.So many posted and so many shared. Many posted understanding the meaning. This was a post of many that understood the meaning of acceptance.
Whatever their style, as long as the babies are loved & provided with necessities of life, that’s all any of us need to be worried about. Excessive stuff doesn’t make for happy babies/children/spouses, giving of one’s self is the ultimate sacrifice and the majority of mother’s do exactly that.
And another posted ~
What a wonderful pic! This shows the true meaning of motherhood. Look at all those happy babies and mommas, that’s what matters most. Wonderful pic! Great choice!
However others posted opposing some of what was written on the picture and the decisions that mothers make for their babies.
This was one of the posts.
“No, you don’t love your baby the same way.”
And then there were others that felt we weren’t “granola” enough since we were being too supportive of mothers.
“I thought you were granola!”
And others misunderstood the picture to mean that they need to agree with every decision made, which nowhere on the picture was anyone asked to do.
You had me up to the circumcision part. The un/misinformed acceptance of this horrific practice is something i will NEVER agree to.
While some just didn’t like the mother’s decisions and would let it be known.
Stay home with your babies if you can.
And yet another point made on the picture ~
Like I said, there’s a difference between the message you intended and the message that comes across. Intactivists have a problem with this message that parents are getting. That message is, “circumcision is just another valid parental choice.” By putting it in the same category as sleeping, working and breastfeeding, you trivialize it (whether you intend to or not). Circumcision is not a valid parenting choice. We can forgive mothers who do it (especially when done out of ignorance), but that does not mean we should legitimize it. It is wrong. It is harmful. We must not give the impression that it is anything other than that.
Your intention is good; your result is not.
Sadly many other posts became more accusatory and had a bit of ~ I’m more granola than you vibe to it. One man who I would describe as psychotic went so far as to write an entire blog post about the picture and how very angry he was that we’d support a parent even if they circumcised. And many were surprised (and perhaps never experienced?) being in the presence of someone natural-minded being supportive of mothers in their journey.
Their words served to represent the very reason why the picture was presented – the need for more acceptance and less judgements between mothers.
And aren’t you celebrating circumcision?
A lot of the responses were about the second mother in the picture. Some felt that while the others are parenting choices, that circumcision is not within a parent’s right to make and should be a penalized decision. Very hateful words by the intactivists were expressed towards mothers who had circumcised as well as towards anyone that didn’t applaud their words.
Many of the intactivists read the picture and somehow read – let’s celebrate circumcision. And though those words were nowhere in the picture, nor was any one parenting decision being celebrated, there weren’t any amount of words to convince them otherwise. Instead they resorted to mob-like attacks and internet bullying as an effort to penalize those that simply were saying – hey believe it or not that mother loves her baby too.
Some were able to express with intelligence and gentleness and others in their words of anger lost the very same people they wished to “win over” in their views.
And all this from a mother of intact boys.
While I didn’t circumcise my sons nor believe it to be necessary, I was not there when another mother made her own different decision. Nor can I say that she loves her baby less than I love mine only because she circumcised.
And because so many did understand the message ~ they kindly sent me messages and posted comments thanking me for the picture. Understanding it so well and uniting in that mothers making these decisions love their babies. One decision like in this picture doe not make one a bad mother. And so many understood this….they got it.
Yes, more education is needed about circumcision and leaving boys intact. More doctors need to explain fully the risks and benefits. I could not agree with this more. However even with an informed (a true informed) decision, mothers will make different choices. And they will love their babies the same. And that was the purpose of the picture.
And finally, I’d like to end with these wise words.
A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. – by Benjamin Franklin.