My husband and I have coslept with our kids since 2005 when my daughter was born. I remember we had this little cosleeper thing on the bed that was supposed to keep her in her own space on our bed. But the first night I put her on it she felt too far away from me. So I took her out and put it aside. Oh, and we also had a crib that we lovingly picked out in great detail before she was born but she never slept in it. And finally, we also had a cosleeper that you put on the side of the bed, attached to yours. But, you guessed it…she felt too far away. She was born 5 weeks early and was in the hospital NICU for a week. I finally had her with me and I wanted her near me at night just as much as I did during the day.
The cosleeper thing we had looked like this…got tossed aside.
So in our bed she slept and in our bed she kept on sleeping. By kept on sleeping I mean sleeping and waking up every 1 – 1 1/2 hours to nurse but I found ways to cope by taking naps when she took naps during the day and by going to bed early at night. Thankfully my second had longer stretches of sleep (woke up every 2 hours) but my magical sleeper was my third who slept in 4-6 hour stretches from week 2.
It’s all about bed size
We had a queen bed when she was born and even though she was a tiny little thing (literally 5 lbs), it was tight! It got much better when we upgraded (money WELL spent) to a king size bed. A lot more room for cosleeping.
Then came baby #2…
When we had baby #2 the king size bed still served us well. We were even able to have a side table in our room. My daughter slept on one side of me and my son slept on the other side – so it was baby, me, toddler and husband. My husband woke up early to go to work so we slept with a sound machine so that we didn’t hear him when his alarm went off. He also would help not wake us by getting dressed outside of the bedroom. The sound machine was key because it blended sounds into the night. I was able to hear what I needed to hear but not my husband’s alarm for example.
No this isn’t us cosleeping but to the kids I’m like a magnet. They scoot right up to me at night too.
Then came baby #3…
When my third child was born we expanded! Out came the side table in our bedroom and we even moved out a dresser to another room. And in their place we made room for a twin bed that we pushed up right up to the king bed. So, now we had baby, me, baby #2, husband and in the twin bed was my daughter. We all slept comfortably. My husband worked a lot of hours and so he enjoyed having them in the bed so he could snuggle them at night. And we both loved waking up together on the weekend
Are we still cosleeping?
Seven years later we are still cosleeping. However, when my daughter was almost 6 and my first son was almost 4 we moved them to their own room in their own little beds together. My husband would do story time and then sit in their room and sometimes in one of their little beds until they fell asleep. And I at the same time would put the little one to bed either in a baby carrier or by laying with him in bed until he fell asleep. So, yes we’re still cosleeping and loving it. At one point my son will be in his own bed but I’m in no rush. I know how fast it goes.
What is the key to making it work?
Being ok with it would be my guess. My husband and I have discussed it various times and each time we both agree that we were just ok with it. We didn’t have high expectations of how the kids should sleep, how many hours they should sleep, where they should sleep. We found ways to catch up on sleep when we had nights of a lot of wakings and we found we slept really good compared to going back and forth to another bedroom to soothe the kids. This was our normal and we slept.
And what about you know…SEX?
Oh no worries there ~ did you see the amount of kids we kept having in close age gaps? But, pictures are worth a thousand words…